Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Hello Mother, Hello Father

Ah, summer is coming to an end. Kids are on their way back to school, there’s a gentle nip in the air. The other day, I was reminded of the joys of summer when I pulled up next to a big yellow bus full of children coming back from some camp. Actually, they weren’t really children, they were just “child-like” men and women in business attire, on their way to somewhere or another, singing a classic camp song. At first I couldn’t quite get what they were singing but I did notice they rang bells as they sang, so I rolled down my window and this is what I heard.

99 Senators sit on the hill,
99 Senators sit.
Take Stevens down, pass Ensign around,
Now no more Senators sit on the hill.

Over 400 Reps sit on the fence,
More than 400 Reps on the fence.
Grease a few up, by filling their cup,
Now ya got no more Reps on the fence.

You can get a Congressman to do what you want,
You can get a Congressman to do.
You got enough money, he’ll even call you “honey”
While the rest of the country gets screwed.

The cable guys moan all the time,
But the cable guys are just fakin.
They like the fact that we’ve got their back,
And we’re bringing home their bacon.

We’re about ten years behind,
We’re at least a decade behind.
We should have built out, but now we just pout,
Because we were too stupid to lay fiber line.

Our business model is a failure we know,
It’s a failure but we are so greedy.
Cable has won the broadband race to the home,
So now we’re going to redline the needy.

Pesky cities get in our way,
They’re pesky and in our way.
They talk about ROW, but Lord don’t they know
We’re the Bell Boys and we don't have to pay.

We’ll finance our stock on their backs,
Like Enron and our buds in World Com.
No one will know, till we’ve stolen their ROW,
And by then we’ll have quickly moved on.

We’re the Bell Boys yes we are,
We ring-ring and we dingala-ding-ding.
Our technology is old, yet we’ll get your gold,
Faster than any old crook up in Sing-Sing.

Well there you have it! The young at heart having fun and as usual it’s at somebody’s else’s expense. Hearing those girls and boys singing so gleefully with such treachery in their hearts reminds me I better call my wood-guy. Looks like it is going to be a long, cold winter.

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