Thursday, November 09, 2006

The Art of War

We can only speculate as to what Mabel was doing when it happened. Maybe she was washing the dishes or perhaps she was watching Oprah or maybe she was dollin’ herself up for a hot night on the town. Whatever activity she may have been engaged in there was no way she could have braced herself for the explosion that shook her home.

Debris flew in two different directions, out into the street and about fifty feet to the other side of the yard. Good thing Mabel wasn’t out plantin’ petunias she could have been beaned by the flying hot metal coming from the at&t Project Lightspeed installed DSLAM box.

Looking at the pictures of the at&t Lightspeed install in front of Mabel’s house is bad enough. Those boxes I rail against pretty much fill up a side yard between houses. at&t doesn’t know or won’t say what caused the box to blow up, speculating it could have been a gas line or vandalism, somebody’s else’s fault. And while the mention of vandalism could be at&t’s weak attempt to point a finger back at the homeowners, I have to admit if one of those refrigerator cabinets ever showed up in my front yard…let’s just say I am quite handy with an axe.

But more to the point, while the at&t guys came out and picked up the box debris and strung up some ugly orange netting around where the box had been, nobody has been back to explain to Mabel and her husband who’s going to pay for the damage to the house and fence. The irony here is Mabel and her husband probably don’t even want at&t’s service. According to Market, Forrester Research found that only 13% of Americans were looking to switch tv providers.

Maybe those boxes will do better in cooler climates, Mabel lives in Houston and you know how brutal Fall can be in Houston, with average October temperatures ranging in the seventies to middle eighties. Now that at&t has conquered California, the legislature may have to invest in protective headgear for all those people out in Barstow, nasty place to be in July especially when there’s burning shrapnel coming at ya from your front yard.

Makes me wonder if Mabel will be able to get back to a normal life after this incident. When I look at the pictures (see link below to the Light Reading article) I’m not so sure I’d ever want to park my car in the garage again. And I certainly might find myself rushing from the sidewalk into my house as quickly as possible, in a zig-zag fashion to provide a tougher target of opportunity. Seems to me you’d be taking a chance just trying to get the dog out for a breath of fresh air.

There are those of us who have understood for a long time that the telephone guys were waging war on the American people but few, if any, understood the depth of their resolve. They are a sneaky bunch that bear intense scrutiny. A formidable foe that exhibits no shame and now one, we understand, has come to the battlefield fully armed and capable of extensive damage.

To our soldiers in the field, the brave Mabels and their husbands, those who live in at&t or soon to be at&t franchise areas, we salute you! And by way of trying to be helpful, we recommend that you trench the perimeter in case you find yourself having to dive for it.

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